White coat. Heels.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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