Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
