Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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