Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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