You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
