I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
