I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
