IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
