im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize