just come out here and I will go home with you...
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize