My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
People in love make me want to vomit
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
