So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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