would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
