i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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