I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
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