Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize