I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
