I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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