you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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