i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
