I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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