That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
