at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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