Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
