i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
