Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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