she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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