Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
