im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
