he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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