sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I am one with the molecules
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize
