How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
