Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
