Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
