We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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