about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
