I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
where does the pee come out of this thing
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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