Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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