if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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