Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
