id be glad to
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
