last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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