His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
