I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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