One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Plan B is the new Plan A
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
