I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
only you would photoshop your dick
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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