You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
