I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
