i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
operation harelip BJ is a go
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
