He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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