The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize