he shaved USA in his pubs
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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