Well douche your snatch and let's go!
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
