Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
