are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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