oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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