i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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