using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
