Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
