I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
