sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
